GoDaddy! No, seriously, just Go.

Recently I registered three domain names: two domain versions of my own name and the third name for my 2-year-old nephew. I've grabbed it for him in case he wants to use it when he grows up enough to need it. I hear this is a big trend with new parents these days.

I used GoDaddy, despite their terrible TV commercials (I do not know what happens after the "hot" GoDaddy lady get stopped by the "hot" lady cop, nor do I care). Registering your domain name with GoDaddy is very easy and inexpensive: $11 per year and boom, your domain name is reserved, to do with what you will. In the case of www.kerindonahue.com, perhaps I'll build myself a website, or maybe I won't, but the option now open to me and no other Kerin Donahues. Because there are so many of us, doncha know.

As I said, the process was really simple. The GoDaddy website is a testament to bad website design: way too cluttered and confusing, and overwhelmingly geared towards the young male segment of the population. But just to register a domain name was as easy as setting up an account and clicking a few buttons.

If left like that, I would recommend GoDaddy's services. But they just wouldn't leave it alone...

I receive about two emails per day slogging GoDaddy services, services that I'm not only aware of, but have already turned down repeatedly during the registration process. Honestly, how many times do I have to say NO? It's like a bad blind date when you realize you're way more attractive than the other person and you spend the evening kyboshing their sad pleas for future dates. No, I will not attend the opera with you on Friday. No, I will not come to your house and listen to slow jazz and sip some mojitos. No, I will not plan a romantic getaway with you to the Cayman Islands.

And today! Today, I received a call from the GoDaddy customer service department. They wanted to welcome and thank me for my patronage. Well, you're welcome, I said. They wanted to know if there was anything else they could do for me to make my GoDaddy experience more rewarding. I said, not at this time, but thanks for asking. Then they asked me if I knew the difference between 'Public' and 'Private' domains. I said, yes - but why do you ask? The rep then told me that, as my domains were 'public' that my name and contact information was "out there", available on the business registry to anyone who cared to seek it out. I could be setting myself up as a target for all sorts of unscrupulous telemarketers out to target me for their nefarious goods and services! Oh noes!

For an extra $8.99 (per year, per domain), he informed me, GoDaddy would switch my domains to 'private' and so any teaming hordes of shady muckrakers out there would be stonewalled by GoDaddy's benign umbrella. Essentially for an extra $50 a year, I could be sure that I would be safe from the unwanted attentions of annoying salespeople like...uh...GoDaddy.

H'okay then. I politely declined the service. I like to live on the edge, so I'm going to take my chances. I asked Doug (who has had a public website registered to him for over a year now) if felt he had:

- A surge of email spam as a result of his being 'public'? Answer: No.
- Felt he was receiving more phone calls or mail from telemarketers? Answer: No.
- The need to beat off squads of bloodthirsty ninja telemarketers who would leap at him from the bushes adjacent to our building? Answer: Kerin, it's time to switch to decaf, kay?

I really don't like 'scare-the-dumb-consumer' selling tactics - like the company from overseas who keeps calling me to sell me a filtered water system and then gets all pissy when I tell them that my tap water in Toronto is perfectly safe. Offering a good deal on a product is one thing - implying that bad things will happen to someone who is already paying you money for your services is just plain rude.

You're a bad date, GoDaddy! I will absolutely NOT be going on a romantic getaway with you. Stop calling me.