The stupidest person on earth

Who, you may ask is the stupidest person on earth? I mean, if there was some empirical way of calculating it, in this very instant, of all the dunces, dummies and doofuses out there, who reigns supreme over them all?

Ladies and gentlemen, I reveal to you the answer: it is I, yes I, Kerin Donahue! Project manager, blogger and New Media Wannabe Extraordinaire! Those of you who had me in the pool, collect your winnings. I am the Stupidest Person on Earth!

Well, no not really. But don’t it just feel that way sometimes?

As 2009 comes lumbering to its final resting place, I look back the road I’ve travelled. I started off all shiny and new, working for a direct response agency and really enjoying it. Then the dumb old economy went and wrecked that, leaving me (and many, many other people) scratching my head wondering where to go from there. The answer for those of us in marketing was pretty clear: if you’re not in the digital space today, you’re nowhere.

So I started a blog. I joined up, signed on and opted-in for everything under the sun. I took classes, I attended conferences, seminars and industry events. I volunteered, I networked and I participated. All in the hopes that someday I would catch the tiger’s tail and feel like I’d arrived.

But it’s never enough. The fact of the matter is, it will never be enough. The influx of new technology and new terminology will only increase. There will always be another new Big Thing I didn’t know about and there will always be people with way more insight than me creating a dizzying array of new Big Things for me to learn.

Normally I would view this as a good thing. But in the dying throes of the Aughts, I'm exhausted; I'm done in. My poor brain has been reduced to a dithering morass of WOOB-WOOB-WOOB, where all I’m able to do is lie twitching on the floor occasionally spitting out gibberish like “SEO! PPC, PHP!”

Every time I open my browser, the internet mocks me. It says, oh you think you’ve got a handle on social media, do you? What do you know about mobility marketing? Experiential marketing? EXPLAIN IT TO US IN GLORIOUS TECHNICAL DETAIL, New Media Wannabe Worm, or we will point and laugh at you! (Apparently the internet refers to itself in the third person). You know ABC? That’s all well and good, but did you know DEF, GHI, or at the very least XYZ? No? Ha! Have you been living under a rock? We laugh at your pitiful efforts to adjust to our cruel new expectations for new media mastery.

Okay, I may be hallucinating most of this. But I tell you, people: I’m in a funk. A great, big fin de decade funk.

I know that many of you reading this will be all, ‘Aw, cheer up, little buckaroo – it’s not as bad as all that.’ Well no, I suppose it isn’t. Some would also say, ‘Quit yer bitchin’, Complainy McWhinesalot’. These people are a) right, and b) kind of jerks. Right or wrong, however, I’m not sad to see this armpit of a year dwindle away to nothing. Let us never speak of it again and pray for an improved state of mind and a clean slate in 2010. I will be patient; I will be tenacious. Like the phoenix, I will rise anew and finally remember what the acronym“SEM” stands for on the first go.

Vayas con dios 2009! This dummy bids you Good Day. Don’t let the door hit your bum on the way out.

You have failed me for the last time, Kindle-miral.

In recent months I’ve been touting the coming of e-readers, particularly the Kindle, to anyone who will listen. As an avid reader, I’ve been stoked to get my hands on one; the idea that I can download a book, immediately, for less money than a printed book is a subject very dear to my heart. Order from Amazon (if you have a Kindle e-reader) or from Chapters/Indigo (if you have a Sony e-reader) - no running from bookstore to bookstore or waiting (and/or paying) for shipments, not to mention having my storage issues solved. Heaven!

But as I ran a few pricing tests (Kindle vs. Sony) I came across an unpleasant realization. Yes, some e-books are much cheaper than their printed counterparts. But once you get off the ‘featured books’ list, the price of an e-book is virtually the same – IF NOT MORE.

Wait, what? Distribution, overhead and materials alone should make an e-book substantially cheaper. But they’re not. Following are five books I checked out.


Charlaine Harris, From Dead to Worse
Indigo: Printed book $8.99 e-book $8.59
Amazon: Printed book $7.99 e-book$7.59

The Snowball: Warren Buffet and the Business of Life
Indigo: Printed book $13.72 e-book $11.99
Amazon: Printed book $13.60 e-book$ not available (great!)

Pride, prejudice and zombies
Indigo: Printed book $13.64 e-book $ not available (really??)
Amazon: Printed book $13.99 e-book$ 9.77

Stephen King: Just After Sunset
Indigo: Printed book$11.82 e-book: $10.39
Amazon: Printed book $9.99 e-book $9.99

Patricia Briggs: Moon Called
Indigo: Printed book $8.99 e-book: not available (grr!)
Amazon: Printed book $7.99 e-book $8.39

(Note: Amazon prices are in USD. I have not factored in the iRewards discount for Chapters, either).

I call Shenanigans on e-book publishers! Here’s an article by Rick Broida for CNET that I found that further fanned my indignant rage.

Boy, I feel like a chump. My apologies to all the people I’ve been raving to about e-books and e-readers. Apparently price is NOT an issue at this time. I am hereby deleting an e-reader off my WANT list until further notice. We’ll see what happens when Apple launches iBook or iReader or whatever the heck they end up calling their product.

On a side note: Harlequin Romance offers e-books (in three formats) on their site for a pretty good discount off the regular printed books. I’m not a fan of Harlequin, but they actually offer some other authors I recognize, like CE Murphy, Mercedes Lackey and PC Cast. Kudos to them.

CMA Double Dutch - Oh. Em. Gee.

I was perusing the 2009 Canadian Marketing Awards "call for entries" campaign, created by Cundari, and came across a video so delicious I have to post it here and everywhere else I can think of.

As previously stated on this blog, I used to work for Lowe Roche on the Audi account, so to see Geoffrey Roche and Karsten Ruwoldt from Audi in this brilliant spot takes me to my Happy Place.

This video has replaced the Christopher Walken Weapon of Choice dance routine in my heart.

Smackdown! Squarespace VS Wordpress

So the time is almost nigh for me to move this blog from Google's Blogger to something a little higher-end. I started here because I wanted a blog space that:
a) was free
b) was idiot-proof, in terms of set up (whew!)

And indeed it has been (free and idiot-proof). So, thanks Google!

Moving forward I'd like my new blog to have additional options and be more visually interesting. I asked the question on some of my LinkedIn groups: what's your pick for best blogging publisher? The response lay divided between two camps: Squarespace and Wordpress.

SMACKDOWN!

I love a good smackdown. In the next few days I'm going to build my new blog on both sites and determine which is the better choice for me.

What I'm looking for:
- Easy to configure; can I put each section where I want it?
- Ability to (correctly) move over my existing posts from this blog
- Widgets that not only work, but look professional
- Design options that let me customize a template so that my site is both well-designed and unique amongst blogs
- Ability to monitor my traffic

Stay tuned!

Twilight: New Moon : Because I can't resist a good mocking

I was going to blog about Twilight: New Moon when it came out, but I never got around to it. I dragged Doug (HA!) to see it with me in the theater full of teenagers, as nature intended and it was... well, it was BAD. Just... BAD.

I actually liked (ish) books #1 and #4 and I didn't totally hate the first movie. As an adult I know it's utter dreck, but the 13-year-old girl in me realizes that if this movie had come out when I was a lass, I would have had 'Edward Cullen' posters all over my room. (Also: See Lost Boys/Jason Patric).

So now, a few weeks after release, I have nothing new to say about New Moon, so I'm posting these two links to people who said it better than I ever could.


Recap of New Moon as told by LOL Cats

Absolutely hilarious SPOT-ON Review by That Guy With Glasses

By Cracked.com - If Twilight was 10 x shorter / 100 x more honest

The futility of networking at a social media networking event

On Tuesday night I attended a lecture by Julien Smith on Social Capital, Trust Agents and the New Tribe, put on by Third Tuesday Toronto, a group for social media enthusiasts. It took place at the Berkeley Church Heritage Event Venue.

Julien’s talk was very entertaining. As for social media content it was nothing I hadn't heard before, be he was really energetic and pretty funny. I have put the book he co-authored with Chris Brogan, Trust Agents: Using the Web to Build Influence, Improve Reputation, and Earn Trust, on my Christmas list. My favourite moment of the evening was when he told us to “break our patterns”. He says that when you meet someone for the first time and then ask someone what they do for a living it shows that you really don’t care about them: you’re just making noises to fill the silence. Julien paused a moment after stating this and you could practically feel the crowd of 250 networkers freeze for a second in a collective “Oh, crap!” moment.

But the lecture is only half (at most) of such evenings! What about why we were all really there - The Schmoozing?

Hm. I must not be doing The Schmoozing correctly.

I arrived ten minutes early, checked my coat and looked around. It was like my high school auditorium: the popular kids clustered together, chatting easily and laughing heartily while the rest of us stood by and fiddled with whatever we had in our hands – drinks, laptops, cell phones... I checked my own phone for messages about ten times in twenty minutes. I had no messages. I bought a glass of wine to fiddle with (which I didn’t drink because I hate wine). The bartender of the venue must have been thinking, “YES, maladroit loners… more tips for me!”

I tried to catch someone’s eye to start a conversation, but it was like playing eyeball pinball! No one would give me a chance!

After the main event, I tried again, but I only managed to get two conversations (longer than three sentences) going. One was with a creative director who lost interest in me about thirty seconds in, but listened politely until she saw someone she knew and ditched me.

The other was with a fellow who had the misfortune to make eye contact with me and I had gone through my entire introductory spiel before I found out he was a dentist with no interest in social media (he was just attending with his wife, who was in the bathroom).

Awkward.

After that, my confidence was shot, so I got my coat and went home to sulk. But, lessons learned! Here’s a list of options I need to consider before I hit the next event:

1. Develop a better elevator pitch. Apparently mine sucks.

2. Become ten years younger, many shades blonder and 40 degrees hotter. The two women sitting in front of me were a huge success at being young, blond and attractive. If anyone can figure out how implement this strategy, please contact me and I will give you EVERYTHING I OWN.

3. Be Mysterious (ie, LIE). Tell people I’m a marketing project manager and consultant with “more work than I can handle at the moment, but I can’t tell you what projects – confidentiality, you know how it is.” Apparently this is a way cooler line than, “I’m a dedicated, enthusiastic team player who is actively seeking work”. The latter response = LOSER.

4. Invent an Interesting Persona (ie, LIE MASSIVELY). “I work for CSIS and I’m investigating the possibility that ‘social media’ is a hoax being perpetuated on the Canadian populace… can I have your business card?”

I’ll let you know how it goes.

The CMA Awards - the Inside Scoop!

The Canadian Marketing Awards were handed out on Friday and yours truly was on hand as a CMA volunteer at the Westin Harbour Castle Conference Centre when It All Went Down.

Read on for the REAL-LIFE STORY of a volunteer who got the TRUE BEHIND-THE-SENES SCOOP…

4:30 pm – I meet in the lobby with all the other volunteers and CMA staff. We congratulate ourselves on how good we all look in our formal wear. I’m wearing a black pleated dress with teal trim I bought for Doug’s brother’s wedding. I have a matching teal rose in my hair. I’m also wearing a sweater because a) you never know if they’re going to pump up the A/C to arctic levels at these things and b) I got a flu shot in one arm and a tetanus shot in the other a few days ago and it looks like I’m diseased.

5 pm – My first duty as a CMA Award Show Volunteer is to guard the doors to the upstairs venue (where dinner will be served later on). Cathy from the CMA tells me that whatever happens we’re not to let anyone go into the dining room yet. I’m on the job! I ask her how far we’re allowed to go to enforce this - a mild beating with a sock full of quarters or can we go the full 007? She laughs uncertainly but doesn’t answer the question. I’m going to assume we should use our best judgement. I’m paired up with Mary, a marketing student and we chat about Other Industry Events We Have Attended. Mary agrees that if someone does try to slip past us, she will hold them down and I will work them over. I’m uneasy about this plan as Mary is about 100 pounds soaking wet. I’m not sure she can hold up her end.

5:30 pm – People are really starting to arrive. We watch them go down the elevator to the reception. A few stragglers have tried to get past us, but they’re mostly looking for the bathroom. After we point them in the right direction, they turn around quite affably and leave. Our mad crowd-control-ninja-skillz are proving to be unnecessary. Pity. We check out what people (women) are wearing. There’s a lot of black and charcoal grey. We see sparkles, spangles and many, many sequins. My dress is so last season! I know this because I bought it at a “Last Season Sale”, so it’s not like it’s a shock. Still, I long for sequins of my own. Sigh…

6 pm – Guarding the upstairs doors. My feet are starting to hurt. Mary is graduated to guarding the downstairs doors. Lucky! No one tries to get past me so my assassination attempts remain at zero.

6:30 pm – Still guarding the upstairs doors. Feet are hurting abominably now. I try smiling and nodding at people, but I stop because they’re giving me queer looks because they can’t figure out if the know me or not and it’s freaking them out.

7 pm – I’ve been relieved by another volunteer! I go down to the actual awards ceremony and sit in the back row. Everyone is having a good time watching the show and plonking away on their Smartphones. The show is very fast-paced and fun. We watch clips of the winning campaigns and people go up and accept their awards. There are no speeches, thank god, or we’d be here until next Tuesday.

7:15 pm – I’m back outside again, but this time I’m guarding the downstairs doors. Promotion! A guy comes up to me and asks if I can “hold this” for fifteen minutes until he gets back. “This” turns out to be a silver CMA award. I say, sure. He takes off. Fellow CMA volunteer Sarah C. was super jealous.

7:30 pm – FEET. ARE. KILLING. ME. Still guarding downstairs door. The euphoria of having upgraded doors is wearing off. Fifteen minutes are up and I’m still holding the silver CMA award that guy gave me.

8 pm – The show is almost over. It’s now my job to assist in handing out magazines. I grab a bunch and brace myself. Am still holding onto silver CMA award. Feet still hurt like I’m stepping on razors.

8:05 pm – The doors open and the crowd stampedes past us, eager to get up to the dining area (and the bar). I hand out magazines. People thank me. I preen like I actually made each and every one of them out of my own belly button lint.

8:10 pm – Everyone has been magazine-ed and there are no more doors to guard. I head upstairs with the unclaimed CMA award. I spot Geoffrey Roche from Lowe Roche chatting with a bunch of people. I freelanced at Lowe Roche a while back on the Audi account and sat next to Geoffrey’s office for four months. Unable to resist, I saunter slowly and casually past him, a confident and carefree smile on my face, with “my” award prominently displayed. My theme music swells in my head (You’re The Best, by Tina Turner). This would probably have been a far sweeter moment if Geoffrey Roche had actually noticed or had any idea who I am. Still, you take your halcyon moments any way you can get them. I reluctantly track down the true owners of the award (Bos) and drop it off at their table.

8:15 pm - I find my own table and sit down thankfully. AHHHH. It’s the best sitting down I’ve ever done. The screaming pain in my arches recedes to a dull roar. Dinner is served and it’s very tasty. Everyone at our table is from the CMA except for Mike Arlotto from Steam Whistle and “Jeff” (if that is his real name) who disappears mysteriously before dinner is served claiming babysitter issues.

9 pm – Start a lovely chat with Mike Arlotto, AKA The Steam Whistle Guy (HI MIKE!). He encourages me to have my first ever Steam Whistle beer, which I enjoy very much. We continue to chat and…

Midnight – Holy crap, look at the time! I tearfully hug Mike good-night, as he has pretty much had to listen to my entire life story, the poor fellow. He’s a good sport about it and does not call security. People are still boogie-ing down on the dance floor, but it’s past my bed time. Time to wrap it up and catch a cab.

1 pm – Home! Doug refuses to give me a foot rub, which is grossly inconsiderate of him. I de-spackle my make-up and go to bed.

Thanks VERY, VERY much to the CMA for a great event! It was a smash! However, I will be sending you my podiatrist’s bill.

3 boxes of Kleenex with Aloe and counting...

Sorry I haven't posted anything new recently folks. I'm battling an epic cold at the moment as well as dealing with a tetanus shot in my left arm and the H1N1 flu shot in my right. Owwwww...To paraphrase my favourite Kids in the Hall character, Buddy, I'm like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, mincing around the dance floor.

Stay tuned for a new post, coming soon!

Online thread pretty much sums up bloggers’ entire personal history! Thanks Internet!

It all started with a short article in Marketing Magazine about “Kids choosing experience over big homes”, relaying the predictions of economist and social scientist Richard Florida at the conclusion of the 2nd annual Marketing Week.

Florida’s theory of the “Creative Class” identifies a growing section of society that favours “an economic shift towards technology, research and development, and the internet (and related fields) building within the overall postwar economies of many countries.” Source: Wikipedia. He further claims that members of this class are the most significant economic factor in the current economic climate.

Basically, instead of the pursuit of a wealth-based economy that idealizes the acquisition of money and possessions, the Creative Class is a meritocracy that values rich experiences and diverse culture and having access to “the three 'T's of Talent (have a highly talented/educated/skilled population), Tolerance (have a diverse community, which has a 'live and let live' ethos), and Technology (have the technological infrastructure necessary to fuel an entrepreneurial culture).” Source: Wikipedia

Okay, interesting theory but is it revelatory? From where I’m sitting, it is. According to Florida, the types of people most likely to be among the creative class are: scientists, engineers, new media artists, designers and educators. As in, teachers. My parents are retired teachers. Eureka! I was raised by the creative class and I never knew it. Call National Geographic!

For years I’ve struggled to understand my own family and upbringing. We weren’t rich or poor, falling somewhere in the “middle”. We didn’t have the biggest house on the block, the most expensive cars or the most elaborate vacations, but neither did we have the smallest, the least or the simplest. My parents wouldn’t buy us designer duds, but disdained bargain stores. Skiing was an acceptable vacation option; camping or going to a beach resort was not. Wine drinking and microbrews were encouraged (after 19); mixed drinks and coolers: so low-brow. The standard to which I was held was inviolate but ambiguous.

It was a confusing time for me – I tried and failed to understand the value system in which I was raised. I was a teenager in the 80’s – the decade of excess. We were taught that the Russians were bad, the bigger your hair and shoulder pads and hair were the better and that if you weren’t a millionaire by the time you were thirty, you had failed yourself and your parents.

But in terms of familial approval, it wasn’t that they wanted me to be tremendously rich (although I suspect that they wouldn’t have objected), it was something more elusive, something that I have failed to identify until I read about Richard Florida and his theory of Creative Class. It’s always been about being an active participant in “worthy” pursuits. It’s behaving and engaging in activities that adhere to a checklist of appropriateness and deserving-ness. If you deviate from this checklist, you are outré and a misfit. Same old game, really, just a little more PC.

Because, make no mistake: the creative class, although a meritocracy, is still a class system. I am no more thrilled about being dissed for my plebeian love of trashy novels and Texas hold-em than I would be for being disdained for being an SUV-driving shopoholic. I also can’t imagine it makes a difference in the world to the family who uses the food bank that they are considered unworthy they don’t spend a lot of time at the art gallery rather than because they don’t live in a McMansion. They’re still eating Kraft Dinner every other meal and trying to make ends meet. It’s still elitism, disguised as “good intentions” and “good taste”. It’s a form of cultural discrimination if you can’t or choose not to fit in.

What really sucks is that it’s even harder to quantify and justify your exclusion, involuntary or not, than it was during the wealth-worshipping days. I can muster a good excuse for not being a dirty, dirty capitalist: I’m not a dirtbag. But for this new creative class…I should WANT to be part of it, shouldn’t I? I should WANT to be sophisticated, culturally-conscious and tolerant. Who can argue with that?

So what if I think yoga is a stupid waste of time? So what if I can’t afford to vacation in Tuscany? So what if I live in an apartment complex that doesn’t recycle? Does that make me a monster?

According to the Creative Class theory: Yes! Yes, it does.

Are you a member of the Creative Class? Take my quiz!

Yes: university educated, working for not-for-profit or in new technology
No: self-made businessperson, working for him/herself
Oh-hells-no: high-school education/community college, working in a trade

Yes: your idea of a great vacation is a wine-tasting tour of Italy
No: Las Vegas. Unless it’s done ironically or as part of a stag
Oh-hells-no: A shopping blitz at the Mall of Americas

Yes: A restored Victorian home in gentrified “downscale” neighbourhood
No: A monster home in the suburbs
Oh-hells-no: A high-rise rental apartment or Anywhere In Scarborough

Yes: A hybrid or an LSM Scooter
No: A sports car or an SUV
Oh-hells-no: 1994 Chevy Lumina with a superfluous spoiler! (this is probably just me)

Yes: a thoughtful documentary about environmental issues and then an dinner at a local restaurant (featuring either ethnic or organic food)
No: a sci-fi blockbuster movie and then dinner at the Keg
Oh-hells-no: a street dog and a Coke Slurpee!

My score: 2 x yes-es, 1 x half-yes/half-oh-hells-no (I junked the Lumina and now drive a scooter), 2 x oh-hells-no’s.

Working from home: a slow descent into madness

As a freelance project manager, I’ve called many an office home for three months, for four months, for six months at a time. A project, by definition has a beginning and an end and so it’s part of the biz to plonk myself down in a new office, desk or cubbie with a much greater frequency than a traditional employee. But ever since the economy experienced an unfortunate downturn (tanked royally), budgets are lean and it’s been a scramble to find consistent, long-term work.

Thus, I’ve spent a relatively long period working on smaller projects with quick turnaround times from home. Technology of today no longer dictates that I go in to the office every day for roll call. Au contraire, it is sometimes far more productive and cost effective for an employer to acquire my services remotely than to use up expensive square footage at the office or to shell out $99 at Ikea to buy another desk chair. Their attitude of “as long as you produce results, I don’t care if you’re sitting at home wearing your giant fuzzy socks” is liberating, but a little scary.

I’ve traditionally been a go-to-the-office kind of girl. Having the option to roll out of bed and flop in front a computer (skipping all that tedious showering, dressing and primping business) should be a little slice of heaven. So what happens when an ingrained work-ethic imperative collides with an unexpected cavalcade of freedom of movement?

Let’s review:

First week:
• Hey, I’m really enjoying not having to brave the elements or put on my knock-off Uggs every day. I can do my grocery shopping whenever I want – no crowds! Sweet.
• Setting my own schedule is awesome: meet 9-5-er friends for lunch, wave good-bye to them as they rush back to work as I slowly linger over my breadsticks (unfortunate side-effect of insufferable complacency?) Note to self: must work on disguising smugness.

Second week:
• Billing by the hour, I’m getting some cool opportunities that I wouldn’t have had ordinarily, like freelance writing.
• But, after First Week’s orgy of excess (rolling out of bed at the crack of noon and working until 3 am instead usual hours), it’s time to reign it in a bit. Keeping more regular hours, but am a bit bored after initial flurry of commitments has been met. Daytime TV is still as bad as it was when I had my wisdom teeth out fifteen years ago and stayed home for three days.

Third week:
• Am too firmly entrenched in my rut: I realize I’ve worn the same yoga-pants-ratty-sweater ensemble for three days running. I’ve also kind of lost track of what day it is. Thursday or Friday? Things like crowds and rush-hour traffic are really starting to bug me for the first time. It’s like being my retired parents!
• This morning I tried to impress the cat on how I can successfully and seamlessly use words like “brouhaha” and “peremptory” in a sentence. I’m genuinely disappointed when the cat doesn’t care and is showing signs he would really prefer it if I would just shut up and let him gnaw on his own tail in peace.

Oh, real human contact, how I miss you… This must be the same feeling working moms get when on maternity leave. I want to talk to an adult! And I don’t have even a needy dependant hanging on my every action as Doug is currently on a freelance gig that requires him to be on the road.

Conclusion:
Running your own business is tough. I’ve always known that because people have been saying it over and over. Everybody knows that. But to experience it for myself has been an eye-opener. It’s challenging and lonely and it’s really easy to get stuck in your own brain and not see what else is going on around you. There are about a billion self-help books and articles written about this, but these are my top takeaways from this experience:

- I’ve actively engaged a council of advisors. I have a couple of mentors as well as family and friends who are more than happy to act as my sounding board.
- I’m going to get out of the damn house every once in a while for fun! Fun is going to the movies and hanging with friends who don’t care about my job. This does NOT include: networking, researching, studying or WRITING IN MY BLOG.

Talk to you next week.

Media In Canada becomes a paid-access subscription service. In other news, the world sucks.

Today I received my usual newsletter from Strategy Magazine’s online publication, Media In Canada. I saw an interesting link and clicked it to read the full article and I was directed to a webpage that let me know that my free service was soon to become paid access. Media In Canada’s is offering me an early-bird chance to sign up for a $99.95 subscription, marked down from the full $149.95 price.

The newsletter will stay free “for those of you who simply want a quick snapshot of the news each day”. That snapshot will consist of a headline plus less than one paragraph on each story, I presume.

Hoo-whee, it was like a riled up hornet’s nest at the Donahue household for about ten minutes! I’m a freelancer, damn it! In these perilous times of slashed marketing, it’s a buyer’s market these days for aspirants in the marketing workforce. I’m sometimes hard-pressed to keep myself in ramen noodles.

Yessiree, I have a few questions for the good people at Media In Canada, such as:

What does this new paid access get me? Is the content going to change?

Will there be special networking opportunities available to subscribers?

What about access to job site? Will the job site change? Will job advertisers be scared away by the fact that only paid-content users will have access to it?

The newsletter is still free… what does that mean: a headline + a small (sometimes incomplete) paragraph? What is the value of that, other than a plug for their own paid services?

Will the access to the content on its parent company, Strategy Magazine, website change? (It currently provides access to some of the feature articles that Media In Canada publishes.)

Will subscriptions to Strategy Magazine’s sister publication “Stimulant” (for the creative types) still be free?

Does one subscription grant access to content to just one person or to an entire group or company? In other words, is there a way I can share my subscription to offset the cost?

I called MIC at the number they provided on the webpage and left a message.
I called their subscription service and was told that they had no information about the change at this time (maybe call back on Thursday). So, no answers yet.

Frustrated, I contacted their direct competition, Marketing Magazine. Marketing Mag, although they have paid content areas, also sends out a free newsletter that gives users free access to articles and their job postings. A gentleman at the subscription desk told me that for now, Marketing Magazine access is still free, but that they will be switching to paid content in the near future. “Enjoy it while you can”, I was told.

Faaaantastic.

Media In Canada and Marketing Magazine are great resources, but it’s really grinding my gears that I will have to pay for content that I’ve been getting for free. I’m also reminded that my favourite online publication One Degree stopped their presses recently due to fiscal considerations. Is there no one left? Is this the state of things to come and I should just shrug and suck it up? A hundred bucks is chump change for a company but for someone like me it’s one more bill and really, one more decision: a subscription to Media In Canada or attend the XYZ conference that will provide me with learning and networking opportunities? Eeny-meeny-miney-mo…

It seems to me that the ones most affected by this change will be, as always, the little business owners like me who don’t have big marketing budgets. Who cares about us anyway? We don’t affect anyone’s bottom line but our own. Tough tiddlywinks to us!

In an industry that is more and more touting the trust economy, the failure of mass media to connect with its audience and the success of niche marketing, this a sad state of affairs.

I am irked. Irked and coming down from my adrenaline rush. I need to go lie down.

The state of my Email Nation...

...is a Bizarre Love Triangle. Ha! Funny, right? It's a New Order joke! Band from the 80's? Just me? Okay, moving on.

This week I took stock of the state of my inbox.

If you’d asked me a couple of days ago how many emails a day I get, I would have said between 30 and 40. I think it’s a source of pride with people now. Our sense of self-worth can be measured in how many emails we get, how many Facebook friends we have or (ahem) how many people are following our blogs.

But let’s talk quality over quantity for a second.

In some instances it does quantity does matter. I need followers for my blog because I want to grow my community, but does it really matter how many emails I get in my private Hotmail account? Only if you’re desperate, right? Right! Time for some subscription weeding. Opt-outers HO!

Let’s get started:
• I have no disposable income right now, so see you later Old Navy, The Shoe Company, Bouclair and Amazon;
• I’m practically a shut-in (see above) so Hot Docs, Ticketmaster and Fallsview Casino are gone!
• No way am I buying a property or a car anytime soon so BOOYAH to Toyota, Smart Car and Allard Realtors!
• I never have and never will have any interest in the products or services of Zip, Apple, Extreme Fitness or Rogers’ Magazine subscriptions, so buh-bye.


Who I’m going to keep:
• a publisher who ONLY sends a reminder when an author I’m like releases a new book;
• TripAdvisor and Travelzoo: totally useless to me at the moment, but I can’t help it. I like to pretend to myself that I have a shot of taking a vacation on the beach in the near future.


Whew! Results:
On Friday I received only 19 emails. If I ignore my lingering pang of inadequacy, I have to admit it was freeing not to feel guilty over having to delete 20 emails without even opening them first.

Now all I have left are:
A) Actual emails from real people,
B) Messages from all the social network groups I signed up for.
Hm. I really should start pruning those… aww…but I just signed up for most of them. They are so new, so innocent! The poor little things have not had a chance to prove themselves yet! I will wait a month and then reassess who will get the axe.

Wow, it’s like Sophie’s choice, but for social media.


Update on my previous post: Why My Mother Won’t Read My Blog
• My Mom: Still not reading my blog. Still no intention to ever do so.
• My Boyfriend, Doug: Pretends to read my blog over my should as I’m proofing it, but he’s totally skimming. I can tell.
• My Best Friend, Jan: Joined as a follower! Yay Jan!

The Mr. Sub and Bos Fracas

Link to the Marketing Magazine article here.

I meant to blog about this last week when it was actually topical, but never got around to it. Then South Park aired an episode about the usage of the word “fag” (gay slur versus schoolyard taunt) and it got me to typing again.

For those of you too lazy to click on the link, Mr. Sub recently fired their ad agency Bos for creating an online ad that depicted a middle-aged man coming out to his wife and eight or so children. "I'm gay!" he tells them smarmily, at the dinner table. His daughter looks at him dubiously. "As in, gay-gay?" she asks. "As in Super Gay!" he assures her, ruffling her hair. For me, the funniest part about the ad was the fact that the guy had not one or two expected children, but EIGHT.

I have no idea how this is supposed to sell subs, but it's was, in tone, clearly intended to be a funny, light-hearted spot, with the tag line "Nobody likes surprises". It was one ad among many and none of the other ads brought up this issue.

Many members of the gay community freaked out, complained to Mr. Sub and this ended in the firing of Bos. Bos issued a statement saying they never intended to offend anyone - my interpretation of their reasoning is that being made fun of is something that is okay if you're a part of the mainstream. Being gay is now mainstream, thus the gay community must take their share of non-maliciously intended teasing.

Point for this argument: there are countless "funny" ads depicting women in a derogatory manner (I’m looking at you, Axe) and there ain't much I can do about that, other than not buy the product.

Point against this argument: you'd never dare try this sort of thing using minorities or a religious group, so what does that say?

I cruised around a bunch of forums to get a sense of what the gay community is thinking and it seems pretty evenly split between “who cares” and “those responsible should be put to death”.

So what do I think?

Obviously I’m a little biased because I’ve worked with a lot of ad agencies before. I don't know how I feel about this other than to say that the outright firing of Bos, if it was supposed to be a public relations gesture missed its mark. Someone at Mr. Sub had to sign off on that ad. Firing your agency just makes you look like a buck-passing hypocrite. I will henceforth eat at Subway. Or whatever sub shop is closest, because really, who cares. It’s just sandwiches.

The gay issue aside, I have to say I don’t really like what I call ‘non-sequitur advertising’:

SHOCKING/FUNNY SKIT + COMPLETELY UNRELATED PRODUCT PLUG
= MASS AD CAMPAIGN.

Boo! Boo, I say!

But I guess that’s why I’m writing this goofy little blog and not running a big whomping agency like Bos.

Parking lot hit and run resolution

Last week Doug and I were watching CP24 and we saw that poor guy whose car was crushed flat by another driver, who subsequently drove off.

The incident went viral on the internet and in response, Hyundai Canada (in partnership with its agency Mighty, Bensimon Byrne’s digital team) decided to give the owner, Todd Jamison a brand new Elantra in a "random act of kindness". They posted the original video, plus new footage of Todd receiving his new car on YouTube.

My favourite bit is when asked how his new car compares to his old 2004 model, Todd replies, "It's nicer...and not as flat." Okay, Todd Jamison is officially funnier than 90% of the mass-produced comedy out there. I also like his Transformers Decepticon t-shirt.

Sure, Hyundai did it as a publicity bid, what do the vast majority of publicity stunts accomplish beyond self-promotion? In fact, I retract the word "stunt" in this case. This wasn't a stunt: it was a genuinely thoughtful act and a really great example of how the news and community relations can be used thoughtfully and positively.

Kudos to Mighty and to Hyundai Canada.

Note if you were wondering: yes, they found the woman responsible and she is due in court on December 1st.

The worst show on television

I was watching TV late last night, an occurrence so rare it had me bopping around channels trying to get a sense of what's on late at night on a Sunday. (If you were wondering - nothing, other than a few movies. Can you believe a 1914 Charlie Chaplin movie was playing? Actually, that was pretty cool).

I stumbled upon (as opposed to StumbleUpon-ed) a show that looked promising: Tosh.0 on Comedy Central. It's billed as "Daniel Tosh is a comedian who comments on internet blogs and new technologies." Oh hey, could be interesting, right?

What an unbelievably lame, offensive (and wildly racist) show. Essentially it features "comedian" Daniel Tosh standing around commenting on internet videos featuring people either injuring or humiliating themselves. He's like a cross between Dane Cook and that guy who hosts the World's Most Amazing Animals. So basically this guy has made a TV show about the most banal aspects of the internet.

Example: a little (presumably) Mexican boy accidentally rolls down a steep hill in his toy car and totally, and fairly brutally, wipes out. One of Tosh's gross remarks included, "That is the worst lawn I've ever seen. Obviously that boy's father doesn't take his work home with him".

Really, Comedy Central? This is the best you could do for yourselves and your 12:30 am on a Sunday slot? Were you saving test patterns for 1:30 am? If so, please move them up an hour - I'd rather watch them than this show. Thanks!

Note: I'm not going to tag or link to this post because if you want to see this travesty, please do so off my watch.

Why my mother won’t read my blog

It’s true, my mother doesn’t read this blog, has never looked and this blog and has no plans to visit this blog in the future. But I’m adorable and she loves me! So what’s the problem?

Talking to her on the phone the other day, I asked if she had had a chance to look at it. She said, “No, I’m not really interested in all that ‘blog’ stuff”. Now, my mother is a well-rounded, intelligent woman whose good opinion I crave – so how can I reconcile her refusal to take a look at a creative outlet that I pour my heart and soul into several times a week without wanting to kill myself?

Actually I checked and it turns out some of the most important people in my life don’t read this blog and will never read this blog. Why?

Case #1: MOM
Subject: My mother, a retired elementary school teacher living in Collingwood, Ontario.
Level of online engagement: Low; she uses email and Skype to talk to my overseas siblings and occasionally looks for travel deals on Expedia.
Prognosis: Hopeless, unless the bridge-playing community in Collingwood inexplicably develops a taste for marketing blogs written by wise-cracking whippersnappers.

Case #2: DOUG
Subject: My boyfriend of six years, an IT support specialist and computer programmer.
Level of online engagement: High; he lives and breathes online content, participates in several online communities, but only those exclusively related to gaming.
Prognosis: Hopeless unless I start adding copious Xbox content.

Case #3: JAN
Subject: My best friend, an investment banker, who I have known since I was three years old.
Level of online engagement: Moderate; uses the internet as an information resource, but doesn’t participate.
Prognosis: Better than average if I keep sending her links on Facebook and whine about it a lot.

This is a little depressing. Mitch Joel, author of “Six Degrees of Pixelation” talks about a ‘The Trust Economy’, where “you’ll trust Sally from Carefree, Arizona over the New York Times Book Review”. So by this reasoning, I get more respect from “rpatz”, my (sole) sixteen year old follower on the Chapters.ca community, who thinks my book reviews are rad (or whatever the kids are saying these days) than I will get from those nearest and dearest to me?

Eh, maybe, but there’s something else in this equation, I just know it…

So, for my mom, as a test, I asked her: if wrote a book, would you read it? After a short but scary pause, she conceded that yes, she would. Okay, so it’s not me, per se –it’s the medium. I can live with that.

Doug, while a lover of things online, is by nature a social idiot. He refers to Facebook as “PhaseBook” and has a one hour time limit at all live social functions. I guess getting him to read a marketing blog about new media is about as fair as him expecting me to go over to his buddy’s place to watch the hockey and talk about video games. Which I won't.

As for Jan, I’ve been nattering at her about my blog since its inception and remind her about it every time we speak. I don’t think she was even considering giving it a try until she spoke to a mutual friend Audra (hey Audra!) who told Jan that it was actually enjoyable. Only then did I see a break in Jan's stone wall – she’s considering it… considering it…and still no. I guess that’s because…er…nope, I’ve got nothing. Nothing! There is no reason that Jan - YES, YOU, JANICE SMITH are not reading my blog! READ IT! Or I swear, I will start describing what we were like in junior high school!

Okay, so clearly it bothers me, but I’m going to have to let it go and get thicker-skinned. After all, my mom, my boyfriend and my best friend already know how totally awesome I am. It’s the rest of you I have to convince.

So, people who are not related to me and for whom I don’t do laundry - stay tuned and keep reading!

Can you see that I am serious?

One of my favourite Simpson’s episodes was “Mr. Sparkle” where the Simpson’s go to Japan to find an explanation for this ad and to find out why the cartoon character in it shilling dishwashing liquid looks so much like Homer. The best line in the ad is “I’m disrespectful to dirt! Can you see that I am serious?” For convoluted reasons, this became a catch phrase for me used to convey to my friends that yes, I was “just joking” – please forgive my lame attempt at humour and move on. It kind of drove them nuts and everyone was relieved when I stopped saying it.

Recent developments have me thinking I may need to develop an online icon to convey that sentiment. Something beyond “j/k”, “LOL” or good ol' winky face.

To explain: I spend a modest amount of time cruising through various forums, reading people’s comments. I don’t post a lot, mainly because when I do, it becomes this epic saga that doesn’t really befit the medium. But if a topic resonates with me, I’ll put my two cents in. I usually opt-in to be alerted if anyone else posts on the same comment after me – to see what other people’s take on the subject was, but really to see if they commented on my witty ripostes, which is, after all 90% of why people post on online forums anyway. I checked and as of this week, it would appear that – yes! People are reading my posts! Yes, they are responding to my work! Yes, they think I’m a jerk!
Wait, what?

Case #1: I started a thread on a LinkedIn community for project managers. I am, by trade a project manager, but marketing is a very different animal than say, engineering. My post was an amusing explanation of those differences. Result: one response from a gentleman who basically told me I’d better start taking my job seriously because project management is serious business. For serious!

Case #2: An online community for digital marketing issues had a poster asking for advice on what social media platforms are “the best”. My response was along the lines of: I was investigating that same question but I can’t give you an answer because there are so many new things to try, my brain exploded and now I’m spending all my time cleaning off my sofa. Trust me, it was funny. Just go with it. Posters thereafter offered the original thread creator some very good, very earnest advice, telling him not to listen to me as I was clearly hysterical and essentially a complete moron.

Yes, dear readers, it would seem that my sense of humour is not for everyone. I know, I can’t believe it either. Perhaps I need to dial it back a little. I can’t have the world at large gasping and clutching its pearls at me; I’m far too sensitive.

Oh wait, no I’m not. Look, I’m aware that a person has to be mindful about the content they create. Anything put online is essentially “out there” for all to see, if not forever, then for the foreseeable future. All content posted under your name should reflect your “brand”. So I reflect: has my freaky faculty for funny impugned my brand?

You know? I don’t think so. My online contributions pretty much sum up who I am (including this blog –if you’ve read the blog, you’ve pretty much met me) and if I start to edit myself now to pacify a certain segment, what does that say about me?

Wow, this post has really been life-affirming. Thanks, Internet!

And so, in either as grand conciliatory gesture to my critics OR as a giant raspberry aimed at the all the Grumpy McCrankypants (I’m not sure which), I non sequitur to you a few links to online stuff I think is really funny. It’s a real grab bag, so enjoy!

Herding Cats for eds.com. This aired during Superbowl a number of years ago. Best. Commercial. Ever. So on the nose for a marketing project manager, I can’t even tell you.

I’m a big Warcraft adherent and I used to be married to the King of the Geeks (hey, Tim!) so this web series about a bunch of online role-playing game addicts is really entertaining.


The Social Media Guru (not work-safe – don’t click if you don’t like cuss words, or if you take yourself and your social media career very, very seriously) Thanks to Margaret G. for this link!

Television Without Pity (spare the snark, spoil the networks) is chock full of very funny writers, the kind that make me pea soup green with jealousy. Pea soup green! Not even regular green! It’s gotten to the point where I hesitate to start watching a TV show if they don’t review it because it’s not nearly as fun if I can’t watch the show and then read their recap to see what they had to say about it.

Smart Bitches, Trashy Books. Yes, I have a tragic addiction to romance novels. I’m so over apologizing for it, however. Fortunately SBTN has reassured me that I am not alone. This site has made me snort milk out my nose. Only it was Diet Pepsi, and it hurt and I still go back to read their reviews!

One Degree is closing down. Boo!

This is some sad news! I really liked One Degree (duh - I have them as a link on the side panel of my blog). I feel it really stood out in the world of digital marketing online publications. I enjoyed their uncluttered, no-nonsense design, the fun and user-centric tone and language and of course, I really liked their content.

One Degree was also the first RSS feed I subscribed to, back when I had no idea what an RSS feed was. Reading their content was one of the things that inspired me to, well – keep reading about all this interactive and social media “stuff”.

I’m really bummed they called it quits, but I guess you can’t argue with the money. I try not to argue with the money, at any rate, because I never win those arguments. It’s like disagreeing with my mother: futile and a little scary. No, I don’t know what that means either.

At any rate, cheers to the good folks at One Degree, especially Kate Trgovac, to whom I wish all the best.

A day in the life of a new media wannabe

Today I got up, bright and early and rushed to my computer. It’s a new day in my ongoing quest to become New Media’s best and brightest star. Follow me as I embrace today’s new opportunities to network and interact with my customary enthusiasm and flair…

First up: over a bowl of generic-brand wheat puffs (thus far, being a new media guru isn’t paying well, or at all), I open up Google Reader to see what new topics have been culled from the vast internet abyss for my delectation. Appreciative of my responsibility as a connoisseur, I have cast my net over a wide variety of topics. Thus, this morning I have 178 new articles to read, review and respond to. I quickly close Google Reader and pretend I didn’t see them.

Instead I log into LinkedIn to check my status. Eight people have viewed my profile recently. I am consumed with nosiness. Who are they? What do they want? It appears I have to upgrade my account to find out. Eh, maybe some other time.

I open up my email. A vast array of alerts clamour for my attention: new book launches, exclusive sales and travel deals abound. I pretend I’m not broke and build a fantasy Parisian vacation using TripAdvisor. Good times.

Onwards on over to Del.icio.us, Digg, Identi.ca, Reddit, StumbleUpon…

My brain starts to hurt, I’m exhausted and it’s not even 9 am. That’s a worry, because you’re not worth a plugged nickel these days if you’re not a sweet young thing blogging, linking, tagging and generally connecting your butt off. Although I ponder that using terms like “plugged nickel” in public would be more than enough to consign me to the hopeless old geezer category (the dreaded 35+). Note to self: stop using archaic expressions like “plugged nickel”, “dollars to doughnuts” and “listening to records”.

I spend my morning doing work that will pay the bills. My boyfriend Doug and I are working on a website for a high end furniture designer. He’s programming it and I’m managing the client, the assets and proofing everything. Cognizant of my newfound responsibilities, I ponder: is the website maximizing its SEO optimization? I quickly pop over to Wikipedia to see if I’m using the term “SEO optimization” correctly. Results: inconclusive. Sigh. Soldier on.

I’m vaguely aware of my boyfriend, Doug, hovering around me. He plonks down a sandwich on the printer beside my desk and is nattering on about pacing myself or something. I make shooing hand motions at him. No time!

Because it’s blog time! I edit my most recent blog post, Then I read jump on Technorati and…
…peruse some other people’s funny and interesting blogs (while wishing that I had written them)…
…confirm that Twitter is still not my medium (I can’t possible express myself in less than 144 characters) and engage in some Twitter follower envy…
…randomly browse some MySpace pages and fear for the future of humanity…

It’s now 6 pm and Doug is livid that we’re having ramen noodles and stale Doritos for dinner again. I know our division of household labour has me assigned to meal preparation but who has time to buy groceries or cook?

After dinner I head on over to chapters.ca to post a book review. No one has responded to my previous reviews or various witty comments to other people’s posts yet. Hmmm. Must be a slow week.

I’m chugging Diet Pepsi like an addict to stay alert. “Who are you doing this for?” Doug grumps at me. /ignore. Must remain relevant…

I’ve joined several professional communities online, so it’s time to see what’s happening on them. These groups often have interesting and helpful blog posts, links and case studies. I virtuously read about the legal risks related to using social media (posted by Terrance Barkan, e-Marketing Association) and an article from Business Week about how women are the future of social media (posted by Francis Li, Interactive Ontario). In between all the brain-improving goodness, I find this little gem from poster Arya Sarvam (Social Media Marketing). Love it.

Okay, it’s almost 10 pm. A powerful sense of dread and despair - I mean, jubilation and anticipation fills me when I realize I get to start all over again tomorrow morning.

Hey, the Daily Show is on. With commercials and everything! Surely it won’t impugn upon my new status as new media virtuoso to just watch a few minutes of nasty mass media television.

No one needs to know…

I am asleep. Tomorrow is a new day.

Damn it.

Google Reader: Maybe for some, but not for me.

This week has been really busy; my team from our CMA e-marketing course and I have been busy working on our first assignment. We’re preparing a case study comparing two online travel agencies, Expedia and Travelocity. I was up until 3 am last night editing and my eyes are so puffy I can barely see. Another item to put on the shopping list (ahead of my beloved iPhone) will have to be new reading glasses. I’m sick of blowing up text on every website I visit to 150%.

One of the things on my to-do list this week was to investigate Google Reader. Our CMA instructor, Michael Seaton, has been extolling its virtues (along with sites like Delicious and Technorati) so I finally took this week to poke around to see what the fuss was about. I’d heard about this type of application before, but my general view went along the lines of, great – another thing I have to immerse myself in or I’ll look like an idiot at dinner parties. Not that I go to a lot of dinner parties, but one likes to be prepared for even theoretical dinner parties. So I created an account on Google, as virtually everything else I have is already on Google.

So what do I think about my brand-spanking new reader account? Eh, not so much. On the one hand, I get what Michael is talking about; he never steers us wrong on these things. It’s very handy to have everything in one place. One of the disadvantages of working freelance all the time is that when I move from company to company, sometimes I forget to forward all my new links to myself on my last day and so I get home and think, what was the url for that cool site I’ve been visiting every day for the past two weeks? Then: total mental block and I have to spend an afternoon searching for them. Apparently my tastes are so exotic, this is not always an easy job. I am so mysterious! Go me!

Back to the subject, Google Reader is a great help in keeping all my links, blogs and random sites of interest organized – and there’s nothing I like more than being organized. So why did the whole experience leave me feeling somewhat meh?

Maybe it’s a chick thing. It’s like the ongoing argument I keep having with Doug. If it were up to him, we’d buy everything online: clothes, housewares, electronics, food... With him, there’s really no reason to leave the house, ever. Even to go to dinner parties. Especially to go to dinner parties.

But not me! I like the shopping experience. I want to go in the stores, see what they have, touch and feel the goods, check out the sales, immerse myself in the brands… I want to BROWSE, damn it! Shoe shopping online? Sacrilege!

The reader was kind of the same thing – once it’s in that format, I lose a lot of the context. Where are my pretty pictures, fonts, bars and banners? I even kind of miss the ads. I guess some (cough-men-cough) find all that stuff extraneous and distracting. I don’t – I feel it adds an extra dimension, an essential dimension really, to the overall experience.

So ask yourself: if someone offered me one big, efficient store to shop for all your needs versus a whole mall of little stores where you could poke around and glean different experiences from each, which would you choose?

Your answer to this question will likely tell you if you’re a potential Google Reader user or not.

The Turkey Report

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks, a time for family, a time for overdone turkey and a small dish of mostly ignored canned cranberry glop. It’s also the only time I ever get to have turnip– a side dish so difficult to prepare well that many turn up their noses and don’t bother. But as a good third-generation Scot, to me it’s like crack, so it’s a time for much rejoicing.

Traditionally, after the logistics of getting five adults + one baby (the Donahue’s) together for lunch and six adults + one baby (the Swenson’s) for dinner I don’t have much energy for anything else other than rub my incredibly full stomach and listen to an exhaustive discussion of how awful traffic has gotten in this city, how well/badly the assorted babies have eaten/slept/pooped and what kind of wine goes with turkey. Keeping a low profile is a good strategy in order to avoid discussing with various concerned parents What We Are Doing With Our Lives and Where It All Went So Terribly Wrong. My folks are retired teachers and while they are wonderful, lively and intelligent people, terms like “Facebook”, “blogging” and heck, even “marketing” are pretty foreign to them.

Fortunately this year we had the welcome distraction of so much new media and technological gadgets and foofarrahs, that My Incomprehensible Life Choices went largely unnoticed in a flurry of concerns that included:

• Explaining to my parents about LinkedIn and showing them my blog (which should, but does not, help allay fears about the aforementioned Incomprehnsible Life Choices);

• Checking to see if the kid’s show Peppa the Pig was available for download from piratebay.org (it is);

• Pointed hinting at how much I want an iPhone for Christmas (it’s best to start your campaign early);

• Listening to an interminably long chat (during lunch, with a baby on her lap) between my sister-in-law and brother about how to access the internet wirelessly using her laptop (she’s here in Toronto, he’s in England), during which Doug, the IT guy’s head nearly exploded;

• An impromptu seminar from Doug (to make up for not being allowed to participate in the laptop debacle) on how to hook up your desktop to your TV so you can look at your e-mail spam in all its 42-inch flatscreen glory;

• Chatting with Doug’s brother-in-law about updating his website and are my Photoshop skills up to the challenge? (they might be);

• Viewing some family photos on a digital photo album so tiny and grainy, we may as well have left it on the camera display (sorry Jack!);

• Periodically watching family members check their e-mail because, while it’s a holiday here, those strange Americans insist on having Thanksgiving in November.

Good times, good times. God bless new media.

A note (so I don’t get killed): The turkey at Doug’s parent’s place was NOT overdone, it was moist and delicious! We got a to-go plate that included at least a half-ton of it, along with the remains of the most delicious turnip casserole ever. Is 7:30 am on Wednesday too soon for lunch?

Print in the Mix Conference 2009

I attended the Print in the Mix conference today (thanks CMA folks, again!) at the Hilton Hotel to listen to speakers from various industries comment on the state of print. What is happening in the print industry these days? I’ve been so caught up in digital media recently, I figured I’d better stop by and check.

I enjoyed hearing from Jennifer Davey, Account Manager from Bassett Direct discuss the Ford and Air Miles direct mail campaigns. Air Miles especially is a fun case study. Their 1to1 campaign is just so pretty and I feel they’ve integrated their web elements in a relevant and user-friendly way.

Hugh Dow from Mediabrands gave a presentation on media buying that had some very interesting statistics. Apparently the online readership for newspapers is really small – the vast majority of people still read an actual newspaper. Colour me shocked! The only market that has done well in recent years is specialty and niche publications as well as the freebies like Metro. Apparently the readership of Now Magazine is up 15%! Good on them. According to Hugh, the two next big things on the horizon will be the e-readers and mobility marketing. That makes sense to me: I want an Kindle and an iPhone so much I’d kill your mother for them. Not my mother, but yours, sure.

The last speaker of the day was Jeff Stewart from Trekk Cross-Media discussing social media strategies as they relate to print. It was the end of the day, so maybe I missed something, but I didn’t come away with a solution on how to integrate the two. Don’t get me wrong, Jeff was a fascinating and enthusiastic speaker. My favourite line of the evening was Jeff saying, “In another few years, it won’t be called social media anymore; it’ll just be media”. He discussed a whole bunch of upcoming social media trends like Google Wave, semantic web search, collecta, etc., which was neat. But what about print? How does it stay relevant?

So, final consensus? I’ve attended several digital forum conferences and seminars in the past few months and they were buzzing with new ideas, new innovations, new platforms…new, new, new! I hate to say it, because my background is in print and I’ve always loved the medium, but I came out of this conference feeling that the answer to the question what’s new in print is “Er…nothing. But print’s not dead! We swear!” The overall emphasis was that 2009 was awful and 2010 will be marginally better – recouping some ground, but only a fraction of what will be lost this year. Print is a viable medium and still has access to a large portion of the Canadian populace, but it needs to evolve with digital and integrate new trends in order to flourish. It’s disheartening and I hope the stakeholders holding the wallets figure it out.

An irrelevant note: this event was at the Hilton hotel. The food was very good overall, but their catering department can sure deliver up an utterly fabulous butter cookie. Like, the kind I’m going to be thinking about the rest of my life. Just sayin’.

The next logical step in film: user-based content

A couple of interesting projects in the works have come to my attention that are attempting to blend traditional film-making with user-based content. Is this the next logical step in film-making or a social media fad? I'm betting on the former. Reality television was greatly derided when it first appeared on the scene, but it has shown conspicuously that it has legs. In our new Twitter/YouTube/Facebook world, user-based movies should be just as compelling.

First up, we have the 5000 Seconds project. The concept is pretty simple: "Become part of a feature film and get paid". In other words, average joes can submit their videos, music or photos, and if selected, their content gets included in a 5000-second collage and seen by the world. They have some impressive people already on board (Emmy and Grammy award-winners) and you really can't underestimate the general public's obsession with sharing their experiences with anyone who will watch. The theme of the collage is submissions that are "inspirational, unique and creative", when put together will form a snapshot of the world in a new and interesting way. I'm very eager to see what they come up with. We always complain about Hollywood productions and how "I could do better". Well now, here's our chance to show what's in our hearts and minds.

5000 Seconds TV interview

The 5000 Seconds website

Secondly, we have the less-socially-responsible-but-funny Star Wars: Uncut. The creators have divided the original film (A New Hope) into individual scenes and have invited fans to re-create them. The result is both intriguing for a social media standpoint and horrifying for a die-hard Star Wars purist, like myself. I don't know if I can bear to see the final result - but I don't know if I can keep myself away... you know, like roadkill.

Star Wars: Uncut article on Pajiba.com

The official website

Scotiabank's Nuit Blanche

Set phasers to snark!

My friend Janice and I went to see Scotiabank’s Nuit Blanche on Saturday night. We started at around 9pm and lasted until just after midnight. Wow, it was JAMMED! I can’t believe there were so many people. It was jostling-room only at most of the exhibits – and I don’t even want to talk about what it was like when we ended up at Yonge-Dundas Square. Insanity!

I’m admittedly not really into things like performance art and since this event is entirely made up of interactive exhibits, I’m certainly not a qualified critic. When viewing these installations, part of me insists that after a reflective evening with a pitcher of margaritas I could come up with something just as good. Hmm… project for next year! So, as I said to Jan just before we entered the fray, “Be prepared to hear this sentence out of me over and over this evening: Contemplative pause…I don’t get it.”

Here’s what stuck out in my memory:
• Stationary bicycles attached to lights (just like the Science Centre when we were kids)

• People blindfolded and suspended in sacks from the ceiling – a sensory deprivation exercise. I wanted to try it, but Jan said she wasn’t about to spend 15 minutes staring at me hanging around in a sack.

• A pool of vodka – a giant free-form pond that was apparently filled with vodka. Was it really vodka? I don’t know. What did it mean? I don’t know. There were so many people milling around, I couldn’t find the explanation placard.

• Some sort of experiment involving scent and porta-potties – again, the line up was insane. Jan is sensitive to a lot of perfumes, so we decided not to stand in line for an hour just to watch her go into anaphalactic shock.

• The Giant NO – the best exhibit of the evening! It was two giant letters on a flatbed truck: “NO”. Jan and I stood around for half an hour asking each other questions to which the answer would be NO and then gesticulating…I guess you had to be there. A trio of people stood in front of it and formed “YES” with their bodies. I don’t know why that was so funny, but it had us in stitches.

• People playing Monopoly for money at the stock exchange – okay, so I get this one. I wish I could have played, but all the players were local celebrities. The only one I recognized was the comedian, Trevor Boris. Trevor accidentally knocked me down during a ball hockey game once and I was less than gracious about it at the time. Awww…I hope he ended up winning!

• Giant letters over city hall – this was pretty funny too. Huge, super-bright letters made up of lights to form random 4-letter words, hanging over City Hall. There must have been a thousand people standing and staring in Nathan Phillips Square at them. Every time the word changed, everyone would repeat it. It was surreal. There was VAST, EYES, MEAV… wait, what? MEAV? That’s not a word! Or is it? I think MEAV should be the new Fetch. As we called it a night, we spent the remaining time together walking home coming up with other 4-letter words… POOP, LAME, DUMB…

Oh, we’re so mean! See what I mean about the snark?

Still, we had a lot of fun. I was very impressed with what a great event it turned out to be. I look forward to next year, where you can look forward to seeing my exhibit: Window-Washers Cleaning a Skyrise Dressed Entirely in Twinkling LED Lights: A Commentary on the Advancement of Modern Architecture.

Make Your Mark

On Thursday I had the privilege of attending the CMA’s women’s networking conference called Make Your Mark, chaired by Cathy Preston (Preston Human Capital Group).

It was a very interesting and worthwhile experience. My table was filled with some connected and intelligent women, all of whom had nothing to do with their respective marketing departments. Isn’t that always the way? Still no knowledge is ever wasted – I don’t know how my new understanding of the public affairs department at the gas company Enbridge will benefit me, but you know? It probably will someday.

First up we had a panel of executive women talking about their experiences with the Judy Project (an executive training program for women at the Rotman of Management).
Moderator: Tiziana Casciaro (Professor, Rotman School of Management, University of Toronto)
Panelists:
Denise Pickett (President and CEO, AMEX Bank of Canada)
Daryl Aitken (President and Partner, Dashboard)
Susan Ross (EVP and General Manager, Specialty and Pay TV, Corus Entertainment)
Kerry Peacock (EVP Branch Banking, TD Canada Trust)
Colleen Moorehead (Co-founder, The Judy Project and Entrepreneur in Residence, Signal Hill Equity Partners)

Whoof! What a line-up! Some of the highlights from their panel:
• As a great leader you must develop an authentic, sustainable leadership
• You should care more about other people’s success than you do your own
• Always act with intent (specifically with regard to your online presence, emphasis mine)

My favourite line of the event came from Denise: A’s hire A’s, B’s hire C’s. That sent my brain scrambling. I know I’m an A! But I’ve worked for a B or two before… why did they hire me? Must have been an aberration. Totally.

Next up we had Mia Wedgbury, (Founder and CEO, High Road Communications) to discuss The Art of Promoting Yourself. I actually used to work on High Road’s website when I was a project manager for Evoke Solutions. Mia spoke to us about profile building: creating a bio for yourself to highlight what makes you unique and valuable. By being accessible and a media-friendly subject, you bring value and generate interest for your organization. As women we tend to shy away from the spotlight, insisting that we are successful because of our team, but Mia told us that we need to get past this behaviour; we need to embrace the fact our profiles can be assets.

After a short break (in which I ran around trying to find my glasses, which I think I’ve lost) we heard from Susan Barrett (Partner, Leadership Solutions Practice, KnightsbridgeMICA) to discuss positive and productive networking. Networking is a funny topic for some – I have friends who think that if you’re a network-er, you’re somehow responsible for the downfall of civilization.

Susan was a real pistol – the kind of person you just want to be around and work for because she’s so smart, charismatic and put-together – like it might rub off on you if you hung around her long enough. Some of the things she discussed were:
• The strength of weak ties (social networking – getting outside your personal connections)
• It’s not all about you, it’s also what can you do for someone else
• Social capital – the karma bank (which I loved; I’m all about karma and paying it forward)
• Using Host Behaviour; giving people permission to enter

After a very nice lunch (no chicken pot pie – sorry former lunching ladies of the Arcadian Court!) the keynote speaker for the event was Michelle DiEmanuelle (President / CEO, Credit Valley Hospital). Michelle claimed up front to be an introvert at heart and not a public speaker. Michelle, I do not believe you - your presentation was very real and engrossing.

Some of the key points she made that spoke to me:
• Have a plan – every choice you make should leave 3 doors open
• Pick great leaders, not jobs (not always easy when you’re freelance, but a great sentiment!)
• Don’t wait until you have all the pieces before you start something
• Self-calibration is essential, professionally and personally

One of my favourite things she said was “I don’t know how to run a hospital; I do know how to run an organization”. This was particularly resonant with me, as a freelancer I often have to walk into an interview and say, “I don’t know how to use your XYZ CMS system, but I do know how to apply the principles of project management to your organization”. It doesn’t always work.

I also liked her description of the “Grey People”… People who go to work every day, do their thing and then go home – the whole while looking miserable. Michelle said she did not ever want to be like that and I wholeheartedly agree. I can’t imagine anything worse professionally.

A great event, all around! My special thanks to Cathy and Lynda at the CMA for hooking me up to attend.

Week-end Wrap-Up for Sept 26-27

What happened this weekend… not much, but a pleasant time was had by all. Or at least by me.

I had my last class for my PMP certification training (project procurement management). It was a snap, because procurement is one of the things I’ve had a lot of experience with in my career, so it was more of a review. On the one hand, I’m glad the class is finished. On the other I’m regretting it, because now I’m going to have to study, study, study and actually take the test. For a PMI member (such as myself), the cost of the test is $405. Not cheap, so I’m going to have to make sure I pass the first time. I’m going to memorize some formulas this week and then take some of the sample exams you can find online to see how I do.

I was browsing through my various sites looking for items of interest, but the article that I found most engrossing was on Cracked.com of all places. Funny stuff!
5 Awesome Cases of The Internet Owning The Mainstream Media

In an excellent stroke of good luck, I received an email today telling me that my recent posting on One Degree has won me tickets to The Art of Management on October 16 at the Toronto Metro Convention Centre. So exciting – I never win anything! I’m especially looking forward to hearing Jeff Jarvis speak about Corporate Culture in the Internet Age.

In other, riveting news, I made level 60 with my warrior character playing World of Warcraft. (Please don’t judge me.)

Also, as an added note: Doug vacuumed the apartment without me asking him to. I know this is not really professionally-related, but it was such rare and wonderful occurrence, I have to broadcast it to the world (or in this case, the Internet). Good for you, Doug!

Twitter: A middle-aged person’s conundrum

I’m one of those people who, until recently, adamantly refused to use my phone for anything other than making phone calls. I know, I know, I may as well pull my pants up to my armpits and complain about the government full-time.

My best friend Jan often insists we are NOT middle-aged. Usually I smile benignly when she says this, but one of these days I’m going to inqure, “We’re pushing forty. Do the math. How long were YOU planning to live?”

I think my generation often straddles the fence between embracing new technologies and staring helplessly at them, murmuring “too many buttons…too many features…” So I don’t have a Smartphone, but apparently I NEED an iPhone…or I’m a total failure as a marketer.

Because according to the clamouring marketing authorities: if you’re not Tweeting, you’re nothing.

All righty then, but before committing myself to another high-price purchase based purely on hype (I’m looking at YOU, iPod; my generic MP3 player and I laugh at you and make rude gestures in your general direction), I went to the Twitter website from my desktop. I poked around with the features, read some random tweets and – tada! - created an account and…I be Tweetin’ Miss Daisy!

Then I needed followers/to follow, so I searched for my friends.

I was somewhat surprised and stymied when I found that virtually no one I know has a Twitter account.

After searching for hours, here are the people I’m following:
- My ex-husband
- William Shatner
- Sockington the Cat (because I met Jason Scott at Casecamp a couple of weeks ago and he was one of my favourite speakers)
- Will Wheaton (although I thinking of un-following him because he Tweets every ten minutes and it’s exhausting)
- A couple of agencies who tweet to send out job prospects (a viable use! Yay!)

Hey, where are my friends and family? Maybe I was doing something wrong? So I asked around. The answers were pretty much consistent (complete with emotional responses):
- I have better things to do with my time (affronted).
- Twitter is for junior high school girls (derisive).
- I don’t care what Ashton Kutchner is doing right now (superior)

But every marketing article I’ve read in months insists that Twitter is utterly crucial! I stomped my little foot. What’s wrong with my friends? Why do they not have a Twitter strategy?

Perhaps the answer lies for now in demographics. My social network is made up of largely unlikely Twitter users. My contact lists are filled with people with scandalous professions such as banking and insurance, where being in constant contact the latest trends in social networking are less important than say, picking up their dry cleaning. It’s would be too time-consuming at this point for me to dump them and get all new friends. So…

Twitter. Is it a vital tool or a useless ball of nothing? My mental hand hovered over the DELETE button…

But then I remembered Facebook. Cast my mind back two years ago, when everyone was learning about this crazy little social network and I recall my peers’ whining:
"Now I have to log onto Facebook AND email account to retrieve my messages?"
"Right, so I’ve re-connected to all my elementary and camp friends… now what?"
"I don’t care what all these people are doing - where’s my wall???"

But they learned. Oh, they learned. Now you can't have a decent conversation with someone in a restaurant without them taking time check out their aunts' latest pics of her cat. Facebook in Toronto is bigger than Jeebas.

So, Twitter? Speaking on behalf of cost-concious, fad-resistant middle-aged Canadian women… the jury is still out. Do something productive or you’re cut off!

I’m sure Twitter is so scared.

My new blog: the 411

I'm a marketing project manager who has been working freelance for the past few years for various advertising agencies in Toronto. I've been blogging on and off for a few years for fun, but I wanted to create a blog for my professional life as well. This blog will recount my ongoing efforts to learn and grow my business.

What's going on:

PMP Certification:

Studying for the PMP Certification, concentrating on Scope Management this week. Reviewing the PMBOK Guide. Time well spent! But it's like watching paint dry...

The Canadian Marketing Association's E-Marketing course:

Class 1 (Sept 23):

Part 1: Introduction to the instructor (Michael Seaton) and the rest of the class (around 30 people). A very wide range of professions and experiences – the class assignment should be interesting. I hope I get the lady who works for the LCBO (as does everyone else in the class).

Part 2: History of the internet – basic stuff, but the stats are interesting. Apparently Canadians have nothing else do to with their lives but live on the internet. I hear that. Maybe it’s too cold in the winter to go outside? I’d like to see those numbers listed out by months: Jan – March – 99.999% leisure time spent at home on the internet! Pretty much… Things to do before next class:

Check out the following books:

- Clue Train Manifesto, Locke, Weinberger, Series, Levine

- Permission Marketing, Godin

- Call to Action, Eisenberg

- Groundswell, Li, Bernhoff

Look up Net Neutrality on Wikipedia

Look up History of the Internet on You Tube

Review Digg, Technorati, del.icio.us

What I'm reading now:

Six Pixels of Separation, by Mitch Joel

Very interesting so far - I like the personal anecdotes and stories.

What I'm working on:

Development for www.rday.ca, a website for an upscale furniture designer.

I sent Rob the proposed architecture for his website. Waiting for approval so I can get Doug to proceed. Need to follow up with Rob this weekend re: acquiring assets – copy + images.